


Beginning to Feel a Lot Like You

by PennamePersona



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Ceremonies, Earth C, Gen, Introspection, M/M, Marriage, Meteorstuck, Original Meteor, Post-Canon, Retcon Meteor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-11 22:49:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9038207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PennamePersona/pseuds/PennamePersona
Summary: The thing about Earth C, as the humans have taken to calling it, is that it’s an amalgamation.Homestuck 2016 Secret Santa gift for Quartile.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [quartile](https://archiveofourown.org/users/quartile/gifts).



> Hey, hope everyone likes it, especially the recipient, Quartile! Happy Holidays to all.

"Karkat?" You say, sitting at a high table, surrounded by friends, on the happiest day of your life. "Thank you."

 

"What?" He asks, turning to you. It's only the two of you sitting right now, everyone else celebrating in various ways (mostly by dancing and drinking what Dave assured you wasn't actually alcohol, though the "actually" in that claim didn't quite reassure you).

 

"You helped so much with all of this," You say, gesturing to your wedding reception. "With the ceremony, and the celebration, and - "

 

"Kanaya," He cuts you off, smiling in a gentle sort of way, not usually seen on past Karkat, but becoming more and more frequent on present Karkat. Normally you see it on his face when he looks at Dave, though typically only when Dave isn't looking, but on occasion, you've seen it directed towards other people, close friends, but only at times when they don't see it. "It was my pleasure."

 

To see Karkat's gentle smile when he means to show it is a gesture of significance, one you are highly aware of. 

 

"Perhaps," You say. "There could be another ceremony."

 

He looks confused now, since two ceremonies for a human marriage is not typical, as far as either of you are aware, though if one of you were to know, it would be Karkat. He did a lot of research into the subject (a.k.a., bothering Dave about it endlessly).

 

"I think that all the bases have been covered, Kanaya," Karkat says. "We did all the traditional human things and then some."

 

"I wasn't talking about a human marriage ceremony," You say. "I thought that there could be something for troll quadrants, as well. A new set of traditions, for a new world."

 

"I've thought about that, too," Karkat says. "It sounds complicated, considering everything that goes into quadrants, but I wouldn't be against doing it. You want a Red celebration for you and Rose?"

 

"No," You say. "A Pale one."

 

Karkat's eyes get a bit buggy at that. You think you're reading the situation right, but on the off chance you're not, you're subtly preparing to escape to where Rose is, since newly-married bliss is an excellent shield.

 

"With," His voice cracks. "With who?"

 

* * *

 

 

Meteor life is not what you expected it to be.

 

You expected things to fall apart, honestly, especially since...Vriska.

 

"Especially since Vriska" is far from an uncommon phrase these days, not that it has been uncommon since you met Vriska Serket. She's problematic in every way possible, which is something Rose said, actually, and she's not wrong (which doesn't pain you to admit as much as it once did).

 

But somehow, having Vriska around works, not that you notice much, since most of your time is spent with Dave and the Mayor. And it's nice, really, spending that kind of time with Dave, even if you never would have guessed it. Dave is...good. You don't regret Dave.

 

What you do regret, however, is how little time you spend with the other trolls (except for Vriska, who is objectively terrible). It's vaguely awkward between you and Terezi, Gamzee is...no, but Kanaya is not awkward (mostly) and objectively a Good Fucking Person, and best of all, isn't Gamzee-the-Murderous-Friend-Betrayer.

 

You might have some intense feelings towards Gamzee. Maybe. You should probably talk to someone about that. Probably Dave, who will attempt to forward it on to Rose, who will psychoanalyze you and probably gossip about it with Kanaya, so really, what'd be so wrong with cutting out the middle man and just talking to Kanaya about it?

 

Except that those kinds of thoughts are dangerous, because humans aren't trolls and don't have quadrants, and you don't want to upset Dave (or Rose, who is still kind of terrifying) by going after Kanaya for your pale quadrant.

 

Not to mention that you have no idea if Kanaya is anywhere on the pale spectrum for you, while you see diamonds every time you so much as glance at her. 

 

It's a hard knock life, you think, which is something Dave said, once, and it stuck with you. He gives you an odd look every time you say it, but Dave gives you odd looks all the time, and if you let that stop you, you'd never speak at all, which would be an even bigger problem than Vriska.

 

"Karkles," You hear Dave call, a corridor over. "Karkles, where'd you go, man?"

 

"Don't fucking call me that," You halfheartedly yell back. It takes only a few seconds for Dave to find you, and when he does, he just stands there for a moment.

 

He's taking you in, you know he is, which is. A lot to handle.

 

"What's wrong, Karkat?" He asks, so incredibly seriously, the way that he just is, the same way that Rose is, which you could bring up with Kanaya, could open a conversation with her, and wow, this is just getting sad.

 

"Nothing," You say, which causes Dave to yank off his sunglasses and stare at you with those red eyes, obviously annoyed, which is fair. You've had this conversation before, oddly enough, because both of you were emotionally stunted and you still are, really, but you've gotten so much better. Of course, what all this means is that you both get very irritated when the other person is refusing to be emotionally open.

 

"Alright, fine," You say, raking a hand through your already messy hair. "It's Kanaya."

 

"Oh." He says, sliding his sunglasses back on. "The whole pale thing?"

 

"Yeah," You say. "The whole pale thing."

 

"Okay," He says, seeming uncomfortable. "Maybe you should talk to her?"

 

"It's fine, Dave," You say. "I don't want to ruin - "

 

"Shut up," He says, gently. "You aren't going to ruin anything. Talk to her sometime."

 

* * *

 

 

This is miserable.

 

This isn't working, nothing is working, you've all fallen apart. And almost the worst part is the separation between all of you. It's you and Karkat (somehow), Terezi and Gamzee (ew), and Rose and Kanaya (of course, though that seems to be a problem, too) and then the Mayor, who is the purest and most wonderful part of all of this.

 

You're awkward with Rose, now, awkward with Terezi, awkward with Karkat, and Karkat is awkward with Kanaya and Terezi, Rose is awkward with everyone, not that she realizes it, drunk as she is.

 

And then there's Gamzee, who is...creepy, frankly, and possibly your least favorite person. Somehow, Karkat is becoming your favorite person, which is weird, completely weird, after the whole debacle at the beginning.

 

In a different world, maybe there could've been something there, on a different meteor, different timeline, not that you're willing to check. Too much pain from time travel already.

 

Oddly enough, what pains you the most is how Karkat is, still stuck slightly on Terezi, trying to attach to you (which is...nice, not that you want to think too much about that right now), and there's some sort of something between him and Kanaya that confuses the hell out of you. Probably a quadrant deal, which you still ignore whenever Karkat opens his mouth about it.

 

Maybe there'd be good if they were together (in a way that doesn't negate Kanaya's blatant lesbianism). They're the only two semi-stable trolls left on the meteor, since Terezi's falling to pieces and Gamzee's fucking nuts, and as far as feelings go, you understand wanting to be with your own species.

 

You really understand that.

 

(Rose.)

 

(Jade.)

 

(John.)

 

In a different timeline, maybe, you could have all been together, and this would've been so much less painful. You almost wish you didn't know about other timelines, with all the mess it's caused for your thoughts. Every time you hit a stumbling block, all you can think is, "Maybe Dave from another timeline could've handled this better," and then you feel sick to your stomach.

 

So what if Other Dave could've handled it better, you're the one handling it now.

 

And no matter what the universe says, that's going to have to be good enough.

 

* * *

 

 

The thing about Earth C, as the humans have taken to calling it, is that it’s an amalgamation. There is not one single dominant species; there are trolls, there are humans, there are carapacians, all living together (there are oddities that may be combinations of troll and human, but you stay out of that).

 

The children who are gods, now, do not act like it. Two of them engaged in a ceremony that you gather was very romantic and binding. Two others, the two that you spent most of your time on that meteor with, are as close as they were then. They’ve grown, and you feel some pride for them because of it. Carapacians do not grow like they do. You understand their growth more than others of your species, though all of these modern carapacians have an incredibly understanding of humans and trolls, lacking the reverence the Prospitians usually deferred or the vehement hatred you recall from other Dersites. You overcame the cultural differences easily enough; you had enough going on beyond them. You were a rebel. You were a wanderer. You were a friend. You were a mayor.

 

Now, you are relatively simple. Dave and the other humans still call you Mayor, while Karkat and the other trolls tend to tack on a “The,” which suits you fine. You are with the Parcel Mistress, her ring long removed, her duties restored. She is simple. You are simple.

 

All is right with the world.

 

Except, of course, the typical drama that Karkat seems to surround himself with. Here, now, at the celebration after the romance ceremony, you see him with his green friend (Kanayay, perhaps? No, Kanaya. Silly name). They appear to be having quite the discussion, judging by how brightly the boy is blushing.

 

You get closer, for investigative purposes.

 

"With you," Kanaya says, and Karkat appears speechless for a long moment.

 

He then lets out a truly horrifying noise, very high-pitched and grating.

 

"Kanaya," He says, once that awfulness is over with. "You're...I mean, you. You're pale for me?"

 

"Very much so," She says. "I had hoped it was mutual, but if not, I completely understand - "

 

"No," Karkat says, very emphatically. "No, no, no, no, no. It's mutual. It's so mutual, you don't even understand how fucking mutual this is. It's mutual, Kanaya, I am pale for you."

 

"Oh," She says, blushing as brightly as Karkat. "I see."

 

They smile at each other, and as happy as you are that things seem to have worked out (Karkat is one of your close friends, after all), you are still quite confused.

 

Ah, well. Trolls are odd creatures.

 

You go back into the fray, meaning to find the lovely Parcel Mistress. All is good, once again. The game is over, you are all free, and best of all, you're content.

 

* * *

 

 

You are, admittedly, sniffling a bit. You have not even the slightest vestige of shame regarding this. You cried at Rose and Kanaya's wedding, and now, months later, you get to cry at another wedding-type-deal.

 

It's like, aren't you supposed to be giving them presents, not the other way around? And seeing your friends and relatives so happy is most definitely the best possible present.

 

You are one of the few humans who understands almost exactly what's happening, as Karkat and Kanaya exchange rings (pink ones, which you actually helped to make, because 1. pink is your thing and 2. Kanaya is your sister/mother-in-law and  _of course_ you're helping her with this and 3. you're totally a sucker for this shit) and vows, promising to be there for each other in times of need and times of peace, to prevent the craziness from happening, to love and be loved in the palest of ways.

 

Dave, chill and cool as ever behind his shades, is standing close to you, probably so people won't pay attention to his quiet crying, too distracted by your obvious crying.

 

"Davie," You whisper, subtle as can be, subtle as the void. "You okay?"

 

"I'm happy for him," Dave answers, simply, so heartfelt that you start to tear up even more.

 

Later, you tell Callie all about this moment, these two and those two, and she cries, too, overwhelmed by happiness for her friends, which is the best kind of overwhelmed to be.

 

Now, you smile and leave Dave to his happiness, watching as Karkat and Kanaya slip the rings onto each other's fingers, Kanaya's next to her wedding ring, Karkat's next to an empty finger you imagine will hold another ring, someday.

 

It's good, you think, to be alive and witness this. It's good.

**Author's Note:**

> Once again, Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year, and any feedback is great.


End file.
